aka Shmuel Schock | Stu Schock
Current address: (2018)
221 Howard Ave
Passaic NJ 07055-4511
Previous Locations:
Philadelphia, PA
Devon, PA
Cherry Hill, NJ
Collegeville, PA
Linkedin: Professional Experience and Education
HOW A TRIP AND A CHAIR LED TO STUART (SHMUEL) SCHOCK’S DISCOVERY ABOUT HIS BIRTH PARENTS
In 2003, Lisa and I were discussing her paternal grandfather’s (Harry Schock) roots. During the conversation, I mentioned that Dad had been born in Lithuania and how, just before the First World War began in 1914, he left Kaunas and somehow made his way to Hamburg, Germany. After a 17 day trip on a ship, he arrived in the US and was then processed through the Philadelphia Port of Entry..
Having been a world traveler herself, Lisa’s response was an immediate and firm “let’s go!” I agreed and said that we should start planning. We asked Joni to join us but she said that she thought that we should without her and have time to bond. Given that Joni doesn’t like to fly, I understood.
After spending two years researching family history and tour possibilities, we finally settled on August 2005 and Vitus Tours. Lisa rented a car in DC, drove to Upperco, MD to pick me up and then back Washington, D.C., so that we could fly out of Reagan International to JFK before taking an overnight flight to Helsinki The next day we flew to Vilnius, Lithuania and, from there we had a pre-arranged driver take us to Kaunas.
After returning from the trip, Joni told us that she had received a phone call from Stuart Schock, my late brother Paul’s son, whom we hadn’t heard from in years. By way of the Internet, he had found my son Carey in California and called him to get our telephone number, saying that he would like to return my parents’ chair which Paul and his second wife Vera had since Mom had died some 12 years before. He said, with three young children in his house, it wasn’t a good place for the chair. I was delighted that a) he got in touch, b) we found out they have three children and c) he wanted us to have the chair which we always called Lisa’s chair (see picture below). My cousin Eke referred to it as a Queen’s chair.
Stuart’s call led to our having a delightful conversation and learning more about his children. He was very pleased to hear about our trip and that we had visited the Kaunas synagogue. He remarked how it had been the center of Jewry in Lithuania/Europe. He talked about getting together so that Joni and I could meet the children, he could return the chair and we could “discuss his grandfather’s roots”. That was the “life-changing” moment when I decided Stuart had to know that Paul and his first wife Anne weren’t his biological parents. The question, however, was how best to tell him.
After our conversation, I thought quite a bit about this and, while doing so, searched the Internet for Stuart as well as “Shmuel (his taken Jewish name) Schock”. I discovered only one place where this name appeared and that was in a list of officers for a Shul, his having been a “Past President”. It also contained an email address which wasn’t his. Later I saw a Rabbi Mordechai Terebelo listed on that same Web site and I decided to try to get in touch with him to seek his advice and counsel. Fortunately, his was a usable e-mail address. I sent the Rabbi a note saying that I had a serious matter I wanted to discuss with him about Stuart and asked if he would be willing to provide some guidance in the matter. I didn’t, however, tell him what it was at the time because I wanted to get a sense of the man, so to speak, before bringing up the matter. Well the Rabii wrote back the same day, gave me his telephone number and ask me to call that coming Saturday after sundown, which I did.
During that call, he said that he knows Stuart well, that they live across the street from one another in Philadelphia. I also mentioned that, while Anne had asked Paul and her siblings to promise never to tell Stuart that he had been adopted, no one had ask me to refrain. Although, I had no qualms about telling Stuart, the question was how best to do this. Immediately the Rabbi said that he himself would have to do it and that it would be the most difficult thing he had to do in all his years as a Rabbi. But, before telling Stuart, the Rabbi wanted to consult with his senior in Philadelphia. Two days later Stuart called to thank me for getting in touch with the Rabbi, that he had spoken with him, and that he was fine with the revelation. In fact he recalled how, while President of the Shul, others had asked him for advice about telling adoptive children about their parents.
Stu then repeated what the Rabbi had told me – that he would have to be made Jewish again by going to a senior Rabbi to be “baptised” and that he and Theresa (Tamar) would have to be married once again after he became officially Jewish. By Jewish Law, the three children are considered Jewish given that their mother had converted. Two days later Stuart had his Mikveh and then, once again, he and Tamar remarried. After that, he called and we had another fine conversation during which we planned to get together. Between the two conversations he had found papers about his bris and discovered that the sandak, who had held him during the ceremony, was still alive. Stu got in touch with him and discovered that his mother was Roman Catholic. Well, we had a great laugh considering these points:
1. During his first marriage (which Joni and I attended in Reading, PA), Stuart and Theresa wanted a double ceremony with both a rabbi and a priest; she came from a Catholic family. The priest said he wouldn’t participate unless they agreed to raise their children Catholic. When they didn’t, he refused. Therefore, they were married by a rabbi and Stuart presented Theresa with her first wedding ring.
2. After Theresa converted to Judiasm and became Tamar, they we’re married a second time and Stuart presented her with a second ring.
3. When Stuart learned that his mother was Roman Catholic, it only confirmed what the Rabbi Terebelo had told him, that since he wasn’t Jewish by birth parents, he would have to convert and then (re)marry Tamar once again. Therefore, Stuart presented her with yet another ring.
Stuart said how great it was that he could marry Theresa three times and that she would have three different wedding rings. And we both found it ironic that her parents were Catholic, something she knew, and that his biological parents were Catholic, something he didn’t know. Talk about acts and results, choices and consequences!
In the summer of 2008 Shmuel, Tamar and their three children moved from northeast Philadelphia to NJ because G.E, his employer, sold the division for which he worked and the new company wanted him in Passaic. It was either move or look for employment elsewhere. Shmuel took a promotion and they decided to move from their house to an apartment in NJ. Before they moved, Joni and I met Tamar at Christiana Mall in Delaware so that they could return my parents’ high-back chair. At the time, she also surprised us with my brother’s large stamp collection which Paul had started over 70 years before and had maintained all of his life. She said that they didn’t know what to do with the collection and offered it us. We accepted.
With the chair and the collection in tow, we returned to Upperco and shortly thereafter transferred the chair to Lisa and her husband Rob. It now sits in pride of place in their home. Joni and I hope that it will remain in the family for generations to come.
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